Friday, January 13, 2012

Who says Facebook interactions are superficial?

Every so often, I will come across something that someone says, and it will literally feel like I am reading something that I wrote myself. Like I know every word of it before it has been said. Like it opened up the book of my life and looked back 15 years. Rec, some dude named Paul Jackson from LA, California posted this in a group that we're both in called Cult of Dusty. He said,

Yes, I recently attended a funeral and It felt awkward to me because I hadn't seen many of my family since before I "came out" as atheist (on facebook). I know they need their belief that their loved-one is not gone, but just waiting for them in heaven.

When My Dad died, I was 13 years old. And I remember one of my young nieces sitting on my lap and asking me to explain where her grampy was. I told here the usual about him being in heaven, but in the back of my head, I felt like I was lying, because I was already atheist inside, even if I hadn't thought it through completely.

That was 30 years ago now, and I must say that to this day my views on the subject are still slowly evolving. I am in a good place now, where I understand death in a whole different way. I am not afraid of death. It is simply the absence of all awareness, the complete dissolution of the self. The end of all pain, though unfortunately also the end of all pleasure. I have no problem with that. In fact, it's incredibly liberating and makes me want to make the most of my life.

But the journey out of the delusional matrix of religion is a long and hard one. When I realized I was atheist, that was only the start of the journey. Next came figuring out a whole new set of answers to life's big questions.

I am sensitive to this when talking to religious people. They feel so threatened by my beliefs because it is much more than the loss of god, it is the loss of their entire world-view, the loss of their immortal infinite life that they think they have, etc. It's a big shock and the mind reacts to it by regressing back into belief even if there is no evidence.

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